tide, wave and ocean

Self-pitying poetry on how shit i am at love

where are you when I’m gone

where are you, right now

i know soon, we’ll be done

and i don’t miss you at the moment
i know i will, as time goes by

but i’m the ocean, you’re just a wave

so if I walk by you, try to wave

because soon you’ll uncover all my lies 
i’m ugly on the inside too, you know

you’re waiting for something that won’t happen

you’re pushing at a love that won’t broaden 

i hope your eyes don’t lose their glow
i can’t even tell if you like me

if the tide were high, then i’d assume you do

but you’re so on the down low, i can’t see you

maybe you’re just like me
quiet and subtely, you’ll get up and leave

crawl your way away from me

into another sea

a shinier morning
bluer skies
and like that, we’re tide, wave and ocean

breathe life into me

i am but a puppet, 

waiting for someone to pull the strings

wrapped around my fingers like rings

make me move, make me feel a thing
i’m sick of being empty

i’m sick of not finding the me that liked you in me

where am I, I think I’ve lost myself 

“put that poison back on the shelf” 
my body is shaking with anticipation

as I feel the demon creeping back to me 

tell me, why do I enjoy this ache

Oh yeah, why do you look so fake
I don’t feel safe behind this curtain

I feel safer with my emotions out in the world
I don’t think I can show you the real me