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tide, wave and ocean

Self-pitying poetry on how shit i am at love

where are you when I’m gone

where are you, right now

i know soon, we’ll be done

and i don’t miss you at the moment
i know i will, as time goes by

but i’m the ocean, you’re just a wave

so if I walk by you, try to wave

because soon you’ll uncover all my lies 
i’m ugly on the inside too, you know

you’re waiting for something that won’t happen

you’re pushing at a love that won’t broaden 

i hope your eyes don’t lose their glow
i can’t even tell if you like me

if the tide were high, then i’d assume you do

but you’re so on the down low, i can’t see you

maybe you’re just like me
quiet and subtely, you’ll get up and leave

crawl your way away from me

into another sea

a shinier morning
bluer skies
and like that, we’re tide, wave and ocean

Bits of poetry i still kinda likei

If this is a cliff, I’m about to fall

Whenever it’s fall, the cold makes you stiff

You won’t utter a yes, but you won’t say no

If you push me away, I won’t like you less

But I’ll leave you alone I guess

xxx

I’ll drown you in poetry

And when you’ll gasp for air

To keep up the rhymes

I’ll fill you with despair

xxx

Of hearts so tired of beating to beats

That don’t make us dance anymore

They make us fall ( in love )

xxx

There’s nothing like happiness to drag you down

unspoken (broken) promises

Shuddery breath against my neck

All we want is to forget

This way there will be less regrets

I bite down into the flesh

And it turns red and warm

You lie down onto the bed

I surround you with my arms

Leave your weapons at the doorstep

Those words were dead on arrival

Let me free your mind of darkness

This is how we go

I’ll make sure to be slow

I’ll wait for you

Prove you want me too

I want all of what you can’t give

And what you can, I desire too

I want to mark you

I want to hurt you

I want to treat you so well you’ll remember me

I want your heart to swell when you think of me

When you’ll turn your back on me

Yeah, when you’ll walk away

I want your head to turn back to me

I want your eyes to tear up

I want the sweat to be never ending in that special place of your mind

Yeah

You’ll always be mine

Untitled

I want to crack open my skull

My thoughts will spill from my fingers

I hope when you read them, your eyes will linger

I want to undo the dull

I want you to feel as much as I do

And then feel as empty as I do

I want you to comprehend me

I want you to befriend me

I want a girl to text at ungodly hours of the morning

I want a girl who will text me at ungodly hours of the morning

I want a girl who will make sense out of my nonsense

And understand the things I can’t

Most of all I want to be loved

I want people to look at me and like what they see

Because I don’t

I’m so insecure

Always double checking

Because I keep messing up

I want to be the trophy

I want to make you proud

I want to make your eyes reflect golden

And your mouth cry out loud

breathe life into me

i am but a puppet, 

waiting for someone to pull the strings

wrapped around my fingers like rings

make me move, make me feel a thing
i’m sick of being empty

i’m sick of not finding the me that liked you in me

where am I, I think I’ve lost myself 

“put that poison back on the shelf” 
my body is shaking with anticipation

as I feel the demon creeping back to me 

tell me, why do I enjoy this ache

Oh yeah, why do you look so fake
I don’t feel safe behind this curtain

I feel safer with my emotions out in the world
I don’t think I can show you the real me